Today's Drs

Dr. Chemo. What a nice man. He was very sympathetic to my implant failure, even took my glasses off my face and wiped my tears. (Of course, he doesn't have a dog in this fight.) He suggested I change from Effexor to Welbutrin as my antidepressant, but my GP won't "permit" the change without an office visit. Sure, yeah, I have time for that.

The DR suggested a second plastic surgeon opinion. He named a new PS in the area who moved here from the Cleveland Clinic because her husband was appointed chair of the hospital's brand new cardiac unit. He wasn't sure where she was practicing. This story sounded so familiar to me. I googled her name, but couldn't find her--found her husband. So I called his office to find where his wife was working. Jeez, no wonder it sounded familiar; she is my Dr. Half Boob's new partner. Wouldn't that make for an awkward 2nd opinion?

Dr. Chemo wasn't surprised that I don't have feeling in my fingers, toes, and mouth after the Taxol chemo. Said it was a good sign that I have the feeling back in my feet; it means I likely, over time, will regain my digits. See him again in 6 months.

Jim and I then went to the hospital's outpatient lab for our blood draws. What a zoo. We must have waited an hour.

Brought Jim back home and went back down to the cancer center for my counseling. What a child this Dr. in training is. Kimberly. Yes, Alice, Dr. Head is a little strange, now that someone with a mind like yours brings it up. Let's call her Dr. Emotion.

I poured out my heart. Having been through counseling before, I know how to do it. She did way too much head nodding, and whenever I would take a huge break from talking, she would chime in, usually with comments of empathy. She did agree I was betrayed by not being told the fact of the 40% failure rate for implants in irradiated tissue.

She kept asking what I could do to help my situation. I finally focused on the chaos that is surrounding me. I usually am a very methodical person, but there are so many places in my house and life that are completely out of control and I am overwhelmed/frozen by them. So we agreed on 3 "tasks."

1. I will take my pills on time every day, am and pm.

2. I will clean all the clutter off the kitchen table so that there is an appropriate and pleasant place for me to sit and eat a meal with Jim, should I care to.

3. I will make a list of all the other clutter places in the house that are troubling me. Just so I have a "to do" list.

That is what I needed. A plan that I could "work" and accomplish. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is a big deal for me (and that kitchen table is a huge commitment). I can't start on it until tomorrow because tonight I have to get paperwork ready to take Max and Lily to the vet tomorrow morning. So much to talk with the vet about Max's kidney disease and inappetance.

I see Dr. Emotion again in 2 weeks. She's only there 2 days a week. That should work for me, and I might be able to make some headway on the "to do" list I put together.

She also encouraged me to try to get out, away from the house without Jim, for "fun" things. Because Jim and I haven't lived together before, my fun thing always was to go visit him at his drinking club. I may ask Liza to go to a movie with me this weekend. I am trying to get together with Kris (from FDMB) for a lunch. Hell, I may even take a walk around the block once it warms up this week.

Oh, the furnace shut down last night. Nothing I could do would bring it back. We ran space heaters all night and the fireburning fire place with the new doors (thank you again Kurt). Got a technician in this morning, and $250 later, got a new breaker switch on the furnace. OK, I didn't pay for the switch; I paid for someone knowing the switch was the problem.

Thank you all for your support. I told Dr. Emotion about the FDMB and this blog. She did not seem at all surprised that I could find support from cyberfriends on the Internet.