A better day than most, almost

Jim and I both had a GI DR appt this morning. Jim drove, which was great, because it relieved alot of physical and concentration problems for me.

The GI DR thought Jim was doing great. He took Jim off the lactulose, the ammonia binding laxative that was helping to keep his mind clear. Jim's major complaint was the osteoarthritic pain in his knees. The DR agreed to let Jim's GP prescribe Celebrex, a nonsteroidal anti-inflamatory drug (NSAID). GI DR said 2 to 3 weeks on that, and if that didn't relieve the pain, then a move to a steroid drug, probably low dose prednisone.

GI DR agreed that topical ointments, and Jim has tried 5, do not work, and neither does glucosamine.

GI DR also scheduled Jim for a colonooscopy and upper endoscopy in a couple of weeks. Said he is healthy enough for it, and he wants the UE to check for bleeding in the stomach. After that, Jim goes back in 6 months. We continue to forget to ask for Jims Hep A and B vaccines, and even though I make the appts to include them, that never seems to be on the DR's to do list.

My turn. The GI DR said my last liver CT scan showed another spot and some fatty deposits. He asked why I was continuing to come to him if I would not eliminate my alcohol consumption. I didn't know what to say. It was like he was firing me. He did set me up for a liver MRI in 3 months, but I likely won't go if I haven't gotten my self-destructive behavior under control. I don't want to waste his time, which is what he basically was saying. I know that fatty liver also comes from not eating, which he failed to validate.

He also said he would not give me a colonoscopy or upper endoscopy, which my GP had wanted to check out my chronic diarrhea. He said he would not perform the procedures on someone actively drinking, and that in his opinion, the diarrhea is solely caused by alcohol. Hello? Stress, depression, not eating? I am starting to not like this DR, and even though he was the one who held onto hope for Jim when he was so sick, I'm not sure I want to go back for myself. He suggested maybe I could work with my upcoming psychiatrist and psychoanalyst on my alcohol abuse. (Hello? There's also anorexia and depression; I have a whole list for those folks.) But I can't blame him for feeling frustrated that I am not taking care of myself. There are lots of people frustrated with me.

Including my new PT. She is such a bubbly personality, and I have never seen a therapy clinic with as much personality as this. I think they need a shop cat. Lisa also was suggesting today that she was ready to fire me. She said that if I won't eat, she can't help me with strength training, which she thinks is vital to my balance and hand movements. She said I should get yogurt, cottage cheese, protein drinks and bring them to put in her fridge so that I could have them before or during PT sessions.

After PT, I went to the grocery and got not only what Jim had put on his list, but also some "snacks" for me. I am sure she will be so proud of me. I don't care being fired by a DR, but I don't want Lisa to fire me. She is sincerely trying very hard to help.

Oh, and asshole Dr. Chemo's office. I called today for a refill for magic mouthwash because I have mouth ulcers and everything tastes like cardboard--again. While I was gone, Kernie the gatekeeper, called back and told Jim I had to call back because my message from LAST WEEK was not clear. I hate that woman. She is the one who would not let me talk to Dr. Chemo about needing to see a neurologist to support my SSDI claim.

I am looking forward to the psychiatrist tomorrow. I hope. And to later meeting with his psychotherpist. I need help. And I keep trying. But sometimes it seems like I get shut down more than I get helped.

I do hate to complain about my med professionals, and I do hate to be in the place I am, but that's where I am. I hope for a breakthrough soon. This is NOT who I am.