A 12-day Break; Sorry.

Yoga. Ugh! It's been way too many years. But the facilitator, Kelly, is very kind and understanding about some of those in the group (like me) having physical limitations. I have been there twice now, and I plan to continue. If nothing else, it's a relaxing (even though uncomfortable) hour away from other responsibilities. A little "me" time.

I also went to my first cancer group meeting last Tuesday, and I found it useful. As the new kid on the block, I was asking alot of questions about others. I got alot of info on two of them. I would tell you about it, but there is a confidentiality rule. But suffice to say that one of the attendees is heading into a rough patch with a lung cancer recurrence. I think I will fit in well there; tonight is my second session.

I haven't had Tai Chi yet. I got the time wrong and overlapped it with a psychiatrist appointment. The psych bummed me out for the rest of the day. I told him that I was having trouble sleeping, and he asked questions and came to the conclusion that my insomnia is a manic state, and thus my DX should be manic-depressive--bipolar disorder. I took exception to that DX, maintaining that many of my drugs, my depression, and my menopause should be considered in "sourcing" my insomnia. Also, when I am up at night, I am not particularly "up." That is, I am not experiencing a surge of energy and euphoria, or irritability. The psych suggested that I research the symptoms of biopolar disorder on WebMD. I've been looking at them and I don't think that is me.

I spoke with Ann, my talk therapist, about it the next day. She also disagreed. She said she hasn't seen any manic signs about me.

Yes, I can be a high achiever, but manic? Nope. As Ann advised, and I'm doing, I'm not owning that DX. And Ann found it interesting that the DR. didn't put that DX in my chart.

Ann had given me the week off from any homework, so we just chatted about the bipolar DX and the fact that Jim wouldn't let me have the week off, insisting that I finish the 2006 taxes. They are now getting close to done. That will be another to do off my list.

I got about 8 hours of weeding done this past weekend. So much more to do. Some weeds in my herb bed are more than 4 foot tall. I relax when I'm gardening, even if it's weeding.

This morning was a disaster. I went to the dentist because my teeth have been eroding. He agreed, said that all 12 of my front teeth (incisors and canines, top and bottom) have lost enamel on the back and the edges. (I have never before had any problem with those 12 teeth.) All four premolars/molars on my bottom right have chipped cusps. Dental caries (cavities) is setting in. The dentist believes this is from poor dental hygiene during my dry mouth period. He said I caught the problem early. The dentist saw me in late February, and there was no evidence of this at that time.

I asked the dentist whether he could discount any of this work. I have appointments for 3 hours of dental work and knowing his prices that is in the $1200 range. He was very kind and told me not to worry about it; it is only money. I wasn't sure what he meant, but when I checked out, there was no charge.

The dentist also looked at a small growth on my gum. It's been there about a month. He said it was likely benign, but that I should have an oral surgeon remove it and have it biopsied. Phone calls to insurance. Phone calls to oral surgeons. The closest oral surgeon that participates in my medical plan is at University of Penn in Radnor, PA; about 1.5 hours away. I will have two appts with him. One for a consult and to complete the paperwork for insurance's pre-approval. The second for the surgery.

At the same time I am trying to build myself back up, I am falling apart.

Jim is doing very well. He is mentally sharp as a tack. His blood values are mostly in the normal range; still some minor problems with some liver and kidney values. Still my miracle man. His only complaint is the arthritis in his right knee, and based on good bloodwork, his DR today approved him upping his daily prednisone from 5mg to 10mg.