Friday, August 22, 2008

It's a Long Road

Am I well? I think not. Ann says we have more work to do. I need to more fully understand that the person on my resume is no longer here. She's never coming back.

This came up because I have an unfinished book contract, and I can't afford to repay the advance. And I can't find someone to finish it. And I don't know that I can finish it myself.

Jim goes for surgery next week, and I've dedicated next week 24/7 to him. The week he gets home though, we have agreed that I will open up that book project to see what sort of shape it's in and whether I could finish it. Or what I can do to get out of the project.

It feels like that book is a brick wall in the road of my journey. I have to move on. I have to put the past behind me.

I saw Dr. Gillis, the physiatrist, today. She doesn't seem to have much additional to offer. She is putting me back on Cymbalta, a low 20mg dosage, for its off-label use for neuropathy. She wants me to take it at night, to minimize the fog I experienced from it. She wants me off the Klonopin, which I take off-label for restless leg.

She gave me some foot and leg exercises, and encouraged me to keep up with my movement therapies. But that's it. She wants to see me after my breast reconstruction surgery in October to make sure I get appropriate therapy for the surgical scars.

So the road has speed bumps as well as brick walls.

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