Today's Appointments

Psychotherapist. I don't feel that she is very helpful to me at this stage. And the eye rolling and head nodding really drive me nuts. I was really hoping the psychiatric center would work for me, but as you'll read later, it won't.

Physical therapy. Ouch ouch, and really antsy sitting there in a chair with my feet on an ottoman and wrapped with the laser light treatment pads on my feet for what they said was going to be 20 minutes but felt like 45. The toes on my right foot started cramping. Some hand and foot massage. Then balance exercises. (The PT did not do the laser light treatments on my hands because she said she wanted to call the manufacturer about lymphedema risk.)

I desperately need balance. I fell again last night, stooping to get ssomething from the bottom shelf of the pantry. Down on my butt. Had to call Jim for help getting up, and he put me, and Ennis, straight to bed. UGH, I was in the middle of fixing dinner, and Jim had to go without.

The Rockford Center. They only do inpatient and day treatments. The intake counselor (Bob, no last name on the name tag) suggested day treatments, but it's 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, for up to 6 weeks. There is no way I can do that! Bob couldn't "recommend" a private psychiatrist for me, but he did give me a list of those in the area. He also said I would continue to need to use a psychotherapist for talk counseling. Bob said psychiatrists around here only do medical management.

I was googling for psychiatrists using search terms Delaware, psychistrist, and cancer, and found one not too far from me who in 2004 testified in a hearing about this state's high cancer rate in from of the state senate. He mother was a cancer victim (don't know what kind of cancer). I will give her office a call tomorrow.

If she can't take me, maybe she can suggest other psychiatrists, and maybe even a "talk" counselor, whether a psychotherapist or a social worker, that specializes with cancer patients.

Have to go. The pizza's here. Too exhausted from the day to cook. It takes alot of concentration to drive that far and have that many appts in one day. I should know better.

BTW, Ennis goes to the vet tomorrow, to check his kidney functions after the overdose. I thoroughly cleaned my office today, and could not find any of the missing capsules. So it looks like he scarfed 600mg of Neurontin and a Prevacid. Asshole!!

Not Looking Forward to Today

Psychotherapy at 10.

Physical therapy at 12.

Psychiatric intake interview at 2.

And these are an hour or more away from home. I have to start google mapping to find how to get from one to another.

Take care, all.

My GP appt

Saw her this AM.

She's on board with my SSDI claim, and agreed that specialists are more effective than family practitioners. She agreed to make the referral to the neurologist, and agreed I should seek treatment through the Rockford Center to a psychiatrist. She also upped the dosage of my anti-depressant, saying that a few days upped dosage before the mental health assessment might give them something more to deal with.

She said Dr. Chemo, who has never called me back, might not get on board because he has lots of patients with breast cancer who do not fall apart, so maybe he doesn't think my situation is legit. (WTF????) But GP said I had situations (like the failed implant and my sick husband) that many breat cancer survivors do not have to deal with.

I cancelled my new PT for today. I just cannot drive myself an hour away and back. Too much.

If looks could kill, Jim would be dead right now. He gave me grief about "not being sincere about the PT." He didn't offer to drive me.

Edited: Give me a break! After Jim left the house, I went to bed for a 4-hour nap. Big time bummed out about Deb losing Giz. And my calves hurt. I think from the balance tests the new PT did on Wednesday.

GYN appt

My GYN referred me to a 24-hour assessment and referral service that treats folks for, among other things, acute depression. GYN apparently refers other patients to this place because of post-partum depression. This was the first time he asked to look at my chest, though all these months of surgery, etc. He agreed I would need alot of scar massage on the right side to break up the "grip" the scar has on my chest wall.

I see my GP tomorrow. In an email today, my SSDI lawyer has strongly suggested that I try to get a neurologist to evaluate and maybe treat my neuropathy. So I will press my GP on a referral; Dr. Chemo won't do it. I have an appt with the neurologist, but she won't see me without a referral from another DR.

Lawyer also thinks my GP is kind of useless to the process. The more specialists that sign on, the better.

I told GYN that I hadn't listed him in my group of DRs on the SSDI form, but he did come up in the final remarks session for prescribing mammo and referral to Dr. Cutter. Therefore, he may be called upon to supply records. He said no problem. He would be happy to have his office send the appropriate paperwork.

My GYN is my favorite DR. He is cute and hugs me several times each visit. And always checks for how I am doing "overall." He was very surprised at Jim's recovery from liver failure. I think he and his nurse were expecting me to tell them that Jim had passed. Nope. He's down in the dungeon napping. I wish I could nap, but an occupational therapist is bringing a seat riser for my bathroom toilet this afternoon.

I need to call neighbor Curt again about putting some grab rails in my bathroom. I suspect that the message I left on his machine 2 weeks ago got "lost," what with a wife and 2 teenagers. Curt gave me his cell number because of problems like that.