Saturday, November 11, 2006


Why can't I get Jim's DRs to talk to me about his condition?

I happened to be in the room today when the internist came in. In the course of the conversation, he dropped the news that Jim's platelets are dropping again--down to the 80s from the 140s in the last few days. The result, he said, of the liver failure.

After the DR left, I asked Jim whether he knew about that. He said yes, the DR told him the day before, but the DR also said it wasn't significant so Jim didn't feel the need to tell me.

Sigh. Well, that's it. I'm going to have to have a note put in the chart that the DR calls me every day. Yep, I need to be bitchy, and I really didn't want to do that.

Jim had another bad night last night. The nurse called me at 8am suggesting I come in to calm him down. He was in tears when I got there, because he thought there was an obligation he had that he couldn't remember. He had been agitated for about 4 hours. I explained to him that there was nothing he had to do. The nurses and I were taking care of everything. I told him it was like one of those recurring dreams where you think you have missed a college final exam. He agreed that he was mixing dream state with waking state. I suggested he do things like ask for the door to be closed (so he doesn't hear the conversations at the nurses station, which is across from his room), ask for the room lights to be turned on, turn on the TV to a movie station, and ask that a nurse come in to talk with him.

I continue to be sad about Julie losing her cat Smokey yesterday. That is just so unfair. It should not have happened.

I'm OK. For the most part. I am getting stronger physically, although I am starting to feel the radiation fatigue. The other day I went to visit Jim, and while he was up in the chair and eating lunch, I crawled into his bed and took a 2 hour nap. I just couldn't keep my eyes open.

Jim and I did his arm and leg exercises today. (PT and OT people are off during the weekend.) It's so sad how much muscle mass he has lost. His legs are so thin and his skin is wrinkly from the muscle he has lost.

I spent 3 hours today taking my defensive driving update course. Gets me a discount on my car insurance. I wasn't due to take it until next month, but I didn't want to have to find someone to watch Jim for 3 hours next month. I do hope Jim is home next month.

Life is sucking right now.

1 comment:

Alice said...

I am so sorry life is sucking. I hope it gets better soon. I can't wait for the day life will be good for you. And maybe bitchy is the way to go with those doctors. I always end up going the bitchy way.LOL Sending lots of hugs and good wishes your way.