No "Apology" from Dr. Half Boob/Next Week's schedule

He had the same "deer in headlight" look that he often has with me. He did pull the drain and told me to return in a week or two to make sure I wasn't retaining fluid. He started talking about sending me to Johns Hopkins for micro surgery for reconstruction, but I told him that wasn't in my cards. At the end, I told him that once I was physically and emotionally healed from this experience, I would likely have the impant removed. He seemed sad about that; like I told him he hadn't done a good job. Well, he hadn't. I got my scrips for prostheses and physical therapy.

I asked about the stats on implants in radiated tisse. He said 10% totally successful; 50 % are somewhat successful but there are cosmetic and "other" problems; and 40% fail, as mine did. I reminded him that I had known about the potentially unpleasant cosmetic problem because we had discussed it after the radiation oncologist warned me about it; but I did say that no one every told me about that total failure was a possibility. The deer look again. I told him that it had been a very tough 11 month with the expander just to get to failure.

I chatted with Kris and Jane (FDMB) later. She said it's all a liability issue. They can't accept responsibility or even apologize for a failed outcome, because they might get sued. She said they probably even have classes in med school about that. Kris is pretty smart.

Jim's Hospice nurse yesterday agreed that I need psychotherapy. She said I have a complex grieving process to go through.

So I'll call my GP and PT Bruiser today for recommendations.

Next week is pretty busy:

Monday: Routine follow-up with Dr. Chemo. Maybe he can find a way to give me my fingers and toes back. I also have started having muscle cramping at night in the arches of my feet and my calves. I don't know whether that might be "a sign" of something wrong. I am on Vitaimin E 400IU twice a day, but I was off of it for about 10 days around my surgery because it is a blood thinner. Also a blood draw for Jim and me for our GI appts on Wednesday.

Tuesday: Lily and Max to the vet. Jim may go to the senior center, depending on the ice in the driveway.

Wednesday: GI DR. Follow-up on my enlarged liver and bad GCT blood test results last fall. Jim sees the same guy for a routine follow-up. I think the GI guy will be very impressed with Jim's progress.

Thursday: Hospice nurse. Might even have lunch with Kris and her daughter today or tomorrow.

Friday: Jim to senior center.

I finally finished a book that Alice sent me for Christman. Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. A little sophomoric, not as good as some of his other work, like The Notebook. Basic premise is that an army enlisted man (John) serving overseas meets and falls for the love of his life (Savannah, a college Junior) during a 2 week leave back home to NC. She helps him develop a relationship with his father, who raised John. John and Savannah hold their relationship somewhat together for a few years, even though jerk John "re-ups" in patriotic ferver after 9/11. At the beginning of the assault into Iraq from Kuwait, he gets a "Dear John" letter from Savannah; she has fallen in love with someone else. This throws him into major warrior mode, and he re-ups even again.

Kind of mushy ending because several years later when he is home on emergency leave to bury his Dad, he reconnects with Savannah and meets her husband. Her husband is dying of melanoma. I won't give you the ending in case you want to read it. It is an interesting book.

Thank you Alice!!