Saturday, October 21, 2006

Some People are Disappointing, Including Jim

A couple weeks ago, when Jim was here at my home, Jim's "best friend" called me because he was concerned that Jim was not being well taken care of (read maybe "abused"). I invited him to come visit and "audit" Jim's condition whenever. He came here that same day. When I got to the hospital today, there he was, making sure Jim was OK. First time since the 2nd day Jim was in ICU. This is a man who little respect for the women in his life. I can SOOOOO add details to that if anyone is interested.

And Jim's cousin. Where is he in all of this?? Jim's closest relative. Becomes concerned about every 6 weeks?

Earlier this week a friend of Jim's, who is a woman, told me on the phone that I needed to accept that Jim was not going to get better. She's not a medical professional. I told her that I would not accept that until I got that info from a DR. She did apologize for going too far with her comment.

Yesterday, a friend tried to completely rip me apart. She knew I was in alot of pain because of Jim's condition. She told me my problem was that I couldn't accept help from people because I am not humble/have no humility. She doesn't have a clue the kinds of help I've gotten from my many friends. She only knows that I haven't gotten any help from her (but then she hasn't offered any, and I haven't "begged" for any from her). She claims that I have been screening my phone calls to not accept any calls from her.

Sorry, darling, I say now as I said to your face: I do not have caller ID, and I have dialup networking, so when my voicemail says I'm on the phone or Internet, that it INDEED where I am. But if this so makes you think that I am avoiding you, think what you must. (It sounds like a real insecurity problem.) It's not like you've been all that helpful during the past 6 months. Bottom line is I do love you and especially your very kind husband. I was hurt when you said that you didn't know what I meant when I said on the Blog that I need Jim. If a person with a spouse does not understand the "need" for a spouse, well....

And Jim hurt me today. He's been very angry since yesterday when he thought he was coming home. His anger has been focused at me, because I should have been the one to get him out.

I told him I will not see him again until Wednesday. I called the nurse to make sure no one calls me for him. I also told the nurse that I only want to hear from the DRs if there's some issue to communicate.

I'll post later about the medical issues that have been going on for both of us this week. I am just so hurt about how sick he is, and how sick I am about him. And how much people in Jim's community that we thought were friends have let us down and made us hurt.


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