Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Last Couple of Days



Kris, one of our FDMB friends, came Tuesday to do some "final" pics of Max. She's sending all the pics and a slide show put to music. She warned that I may not want to watch the slide show now. THANK YOU KRIS!!

Max is drugged. I'm not sure pain pills are helping or hurting him. I tried one type yesterday, and he was lethargic and won't eat, even the junk food. Another type last night and he has been staring into space, almost immobile, with the most dialated eyes ever since. Nothing seems to be helping; he is just fading. I have brought a bowl of water onto the desk next to his bed, and he is drinking.

Max went to the Alternative/Holistic vet on Tuesday. Got an acupuncture. No massage, because we don't want to start an abdominal bleed. She gave me Chinese herbs to put into his food (no can do if not eating) and a "tincture" to syringe into him. (Why am I torturing him?) She also wanted to do high dose Intravenous Vitamin C. That would have been 3 days in a row for 4-5 hours a day. I declined; torture again. Neither she nor the mobile vet have a blood pressure machine. CRAP! One said they were too expensive (what? you take hundreds of dollars from me and you can't afford a couple thousand dollar piece of tax deductible equipment?) and the other said she and the salesman couldn't get the one she wanted to buy to work consistently. SIGH.

The mobile vet said she could come to the home for a euthanasia with a day's notice. She usually travels with her children, but not for that procedure, so she would have to find a sitter. She's the only mobile vet I've been able to find in the area. She also doesn't do the barbituates by IV. She injects them directly into the heart. That bothers me.

As for Jim; he's great. We see the Hospice nurse this morning and expect he will be discharged. That's OK; we can call them back any time. He doesn't need any significant care right now.

I'm still depressed from my failed implant surgery and now Max's condition. I see Dr. Half Boob this afternoon. That will likely be the last I see of him. I will ask about his new partner, but I have the name of another breast reconstructive surgeon I could see for a 2nd opinion. But that's down the road. Kris did take some pics of my "surgical results." Max and me; the 2 cancer "victims." I do feel like a victim now, with the huge hole on my right side with skin that is as red as a cherry. I hope they come out like a Diane Arbus "freak" picture, because that's what I feel like right now.

I know this isn't a happy post, but I guessed some were wondering where I have been.

By the way, I am starting to hate this curly hair. It's at a completely unmanageable length.

1 comment:

Alice said...

So sorry about Max and your boob disaster. Curly hair can be a pain. Mine is a little past my shoulders and I never know what to do with it. From what I have seen you could rub some gel between your hands and scrunch it through your hair, let it dry and call it good. I bet it will look great like that. Sending lots of love your way.
XOXOXO
Alice